DREAMING OUT LOUD ;

Life :'(

Thursday, July 19, 2012 • 2:38 PM • 0 comments

Afterning people :(

Don't know why but I suddenly decided to blog today.

LIFE! Tskk. Hmmm. Is something unpredictable. Like really. This year has been the most bad year I ever got. Too many of sad news that actually makes me feel like life is something hard. Always appreciate people around you, no matter what. They might leave you soon as you don't know what God has prepared for you. Another news of friend's death. Three death this year for people that I know. What a life? I'll always appreciate people around me. I don't want to be sad. Sometimes when there is too much to tell but you can't put them in words. I just feel so down right now. I hope all his friend be strong and face this reality. Help him to achieve his dream and live up your life. As for the family, stay strong each and everyone. He don't want you people to be sad for him.

ps: Sometimes I wish to see how many people care for me if I'm not around but this is not fun at all cause they gonna be sad, real sad :'(

The secret :)

Monday, July 16, 2012 • 4:30 PM • 0 comments

Read this from somewhere and yea it totally boost me up. By writing the thing you want 10x times, it will eventually works. So now, I'm here to:-

Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!
Hit the promo and 4 cheques!

Tears.

Friday, July 13, 2012 • 4:02 PM • 0 comments

I cried a lot these days. Something people wouldn't see. I feel I need the word TRUST. From everyone. I feel so lost. My blog is always somewhere I share my thing and yea I did cry when I write this post. Sometimes I really wish people would understand me as much I don't like to tell or share out my things. I feel that is unnecessary. I don't know how to describe what I feel now. I'm super down.

Got a call from dad early in the morning as I reach office. What he say really made me shed tears. Sometimes I really hope he will understand me and not look down on me. Give me support and all. Let me do whatever I like. I feel so suffering of seeing you like this and also myself for care too much! I feel sad of you saying what I do. I feel so so lost. And now because of guilty-ness, I almost teared when met boss. I feel so sorry. I just can't take it. Hmmm. At night again the suffer part. Dad talk till I cried and I off to bed early without speaking one words also. I just so tired to all of this. God, open my heart, let me be strong to accept all this.

I hope you guys understand me even just a little. Please :'(

Insecure.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012 • 10:07 AM • 0 comments

I need a hug terribly. Like what I use to do in camps. Feeling so insecure nowdays. I don't know why but I know I'm slowly giving up. Too much past that brings back those old memories. Ain't good! I'm aiming for the best yet nobody understand. I'm tired of getting through hell life. This morning I wake up with such a great morning as once I wake up I heard 势在必行 in radio and I straight felt the burning is starting to ignite. Oh god. I feel great. But just because of one words that came out from my dad. I felt down once again. I feel like being defeated. I don't know why. I went for a interview yesterday and actually it's my first time interview without my parent around and yeah, I made it. I've been accepted. My very first time see-ing all those adorable kids. Imagine they calling me Teacher Bena. Awwww. I just love the feeling.

Convo with parent this morning, I felt screwed.

Dad: Jie, your boss call me ytd!
Me: Sure got something one la. Tell.
Dad: He say you got no heart do work.
Me: I'm quit soon. Who care's. Damn.
Mum: He din't say anything bad ma, he say he want teach you but you not willing to learn.
Me: Sit at my position and then only talk about it.
Mum: Work properly. He say you no need go further study already. Waste money.
Me: I go interview for new job ytd and I'm quit-ing his job.
Dad: You sure you don't want work?
Me: Positive! If I din't stop I'll die soon.

I just hate the way that my boss called my dad to complain about my work. Please la. If you can find a better office girl okay? I'm not that type that looks stupid for you to be fool on. Damn.

PAST

MY WORDS;